I loved reading your comments about our April book club selection Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene. Here are some comments that stood out to me:

“I don't have a baby, but I've been babysitting my 2 year old niece since her mom died a few months ago, and she wasn't potty trained. No matter how much I tried to train her, she refused to cooperate. So, last month, I started leaving her diaper off for a while, so she could get accustomed to listening to her body (just like yourarticle said). She is doing much  better now, holding it until she uses her toilet…now, I just have to get her to let me know when she has to go. I usually sit her on the toilet every 15 minutes; hopefully she'll start letting me know soon. I fully believe in this method, even for a toddler.”
-Elle

“When my son was an infant, my brother in law from India said that this is essentially how kids were raised there; in poorer villages, the kids went around bare-bottomed and instead of a potty, were just taken to the outside facilities, whatever that might have been. It made sense to me, but 30 years ago, there was no support for trying to practice this in the US, and I probably would have been turned over to child services. If you can make it work, go for it! I don't find the ‘modern’ solution of yelling and crying and frustration and diaper rash all that modern.” 
-Janet

“Thanks Alicia, great suggestion for book! I bought it straight away on kindle, reading it at moment, half way through. But at the beginning, I was surprised myself at how resistant and fearful of the idea I was! How socially conditioned am I :) I'm really enjoying it - actually it's blowing my mind, and I definitely want to try it when I have a baby. I was talking about it with my Mum today, and she semi-practiced it too when we were kids. I have long maternity time too here, two or three years - that really, really helps. Looking forward to hearing everyone's review of the book! Hugs xx”
-Monica

Bear is now eleven months old, and still does almost all of his poops in the toilet. He still wears a cloth diaper, and I just pull it off when I think he needs to go – or when he tells me. He shakes his legs and flirts with me, or a little toot flies, usually means he needs to go. Then, I'll give him a chance on the toilet.

“As a natural mama, I so wanted ECing (Ellimination Communication) to work. We also started at six months with our son. It went pretty well up until about ten or eleven months. Then, it just got very impractical. I was dealing with a new explorer, crawler, walker, who just wanted to play! When you try interrupting a child at this age from their activities, they do not like it! So, the whole thing just got very frustrating for both sides. As I felt myself admitting that I was upset that it wasn't working as ‘perfectly’ as diaper free advocates made it seem, I gave it up. And it was definitely for the better. I also noticed that so many of the ECing blogs, stop just around one year. This led me to believe it stopped working for them. So, definitely go ahead and save some diapers for a few months, but don't get down when you see it come to a grinding halt! My son who is now two and a half still successfully potty trained at just over two-years old all on his own. Even though he was back in diapers from eleven months (of course we still did many diaper free days when we were home, but I accepted the fact that there would be many pees on the floor!), he still easily transitioned to the potty. Good luck if you continue you with this route!”
-Rachel

Rachel, I totally hear you! Bear isn’t diaper free all the time either. For example, he wears his nature babycare diaper when he goes to the YMCA with his dad and plays with the other babies there. Also driving, I don’t pull over every 15 minutes to check on him, or if he’s playing and I’m tired, we’ll rely on cloth diapers more.

I do my best to pay attention to his cues; with Bear, it’s a look, or kicking the legs, or I know he’ll need to go after he’s just eaten. I’ve never pulled him away from anything in order to pee or poo - it’s more of a timing thing and intuition thing. When you feel like your baby needs to go, give it a try, and put them on the toilet. Just be gentle with yourself, and remember that it’s not all or nothing.

The goal for me is not to be 100% free of diapers. For us, every step feels like a huge win! I rejoice in following Bear’s cues. I love that we have reduced the number of cloth diapers we use, and that we hardly use any disposable diapers. And I’m amazed that my baby knows how to poo and pee on the toilet on cue. The other day he reached for the toilet! And I put him on and sure enough, he wanted go to! Yahoo! It’s so fun to watch Bear sit on the toilet and make little grunting noises; it’s got to be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

Thanks so much everyone for sharing your thoughts and experiences! I’ll announce my next book club book on May 1, so stay tuned…any guesses what the next book will be?

Check out some of our past book clubs:
Kind Lifers Discuss Your Vegetarian Pregnancy
You Kind Lifers Loved Shantaram
Book Club: Kind Lifers Get Inspired to Go Green
Kind Lifers Debate The Continuum Concept...

Our book for April is Diaper Free: the Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene by Ingrid Bauer. It’s sooo good! I love this book and its wisdom. I’ve started practicing it with Bear, and it’s been great.

According to the book, going diaper free eliminates the need for most potty training. Infants who spend all day in their diapers get out of tune with their bodies and learn to ignore their need to eliminate. They learn to just go without communicating their needs. And they get used to walking around in a toilet, so when it’s time to take their diaper away, it becomes very difficult to relearn how to pay attention to this need and do something about it. They’ve lost that connection, and they get used to thinking cloths are for poo and pee. The diaper free approach takes that away, so infants already know how to communicate and end up potty trained by the time they’re around nine months old. 

Right now, we are trying the diaper free approach part time. I practice watching Bear’s cues during and after feeding & naked time. I love the way he looks at me while I hold him over the toilet, then goes as I make cueing noises: “pssss” for pee and grunts for poo. The pee and poo noises are ridiculous and funny and cute! Afterward, he smiles so deep at me. He’s having so much fun communicating his needs and having them met…yahoo! I’m very proud and excited.

Aside from all the happy fun, there are lots of benefits to going diaper free, namely no diaper rash and fewer diapers used. I save two to three rounds of pee and poo in diapers each time we practice being diaper free. So, on a good day, when I am 100% available to tune in, I’m saving a ton of diapers and keeping my baby dry and fresh and naked!

We’re not fully diaper free yet, but practicing the diaper free approach has been super fun and empowering. I would love for Bear to be diaper free all the time, and maybe we will get there someday. We've been doing this since Bear was 6 months old, so almost 3 months now and we use elimination comunication most of the time, with cloth diapers by day and one natural brand diaper to last the whole night. I glad to be saving diapers, being attuned to my baby’s needs, and just doing the best I can.  

When we are using diapers, I try to do what's most eco-friendly. I’ve heard some conflicting info about what is the most eco diaper, and I’ve tried a few options. I’ll be sharing my research about this in an upcoming blog, so stay tuned for more info on that.

Anywho, if you have a baby, or are thinking of having kids, please read Diaper Free. You can download the kindle edition from Amazon, so it’s totally easy to get. It's not on paperback yet, but even if you don’t have a kindle, you can download a free kindle reader that will let you read the book on your computer. It’s a beautiful book that can get you closer to your baby, and it’s great for baby to get more naked time and to be in tune with elimination needs instead of just sitting in a wet, poopy diaper every time he has to go. Plus, there’s nothing better than breastfeeding and squeezing that little baby butt…I mean come on! And of course cutting down on diaper use is so much better for the environment.

I hope you love this book as much as I do! As you read, add your thoughts and questions to the comments below. I’ll compile them and post some of your feedback in a month.

Happy reading!

Related Links

Your Vegetarian Pregnancy
Shantaram
Girls Gone Green
The Continuum Concept

Our latest book club selection was Your Vegetarian Pregnancy. It’s such a great resource for anyone who is pregnant or thinking of becoming pregnant! Here’s what you had to say about the book:

From Kind Lifer Gretchen:
"I have heard that this is a great book.  Although I am done having babies, I would still love to read this as I am sure it is filled with valuable information. I wished I knew then what I know now...I would have had a vegan pregnancy.  At least I had a dairy-free pregnancy!  That was 11 years ago...I have learned A LOT since then :-)"

From Kind Lifer Monica:
"I read this book too recently on Kindle, i loved it! great information on what food groups to get specific vitamins and nutrients, I appreciated that info. Very beautifully written, very gentle and calming, I loved the poems at the beginning of chapters.  I'd recommend it to anyone pregnant or hoping to be pregnant. Thanks for the suggestion Alicia!"
 
From Kind Lifer Janine:
“I've been itching, badly, to have a baby.  I'm so glad that books like this exist.  Thank you for sharing, Alicia.”
 
FromKind Lifer Tiffany:
“This book was very informative during my recent pregnancy. Two of my friends who were meat eaters ended up getting low iron during their pregnancies, but I as a vegetarian, maintained a healthy level. This book is a must have for any vegetarian or vegan who is planning on becoming pregnant or is already pregnant.”
 
FromKind Lifer Lisa:
“I wish I would have had this when I was pregnant this last time, it probably would have helped me so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
 
I'll be announcing our next book this week, so stay tuned!

Related Stories:

Attention Pregnant Ladies!
Selma Blair's Kind Diet
Orgasmic Birth
More Breastfeeding Info!

If you are thinking of having a baby, or you are already pregnant, read this book. It’s written by Dr. Holly Roberts, who is a board certified Obstetrician/Gynecologist. I think it will answer tons of your questions, and much more. It’s really a must read for anyone who wants to have a healthy pregnancy... Especially non-vegans! The book takes you through your pregnancy chronologically and provides information about everything from how to get enough iron to quelling morning sickness. I can’t recommend it enough!

You can buy new or used editions of Your Vegetarian Pregnancy on Amazon, where you can also download the Kindle edition. Of course, it’s a great idea to check your library first, although this is a book you might want to keep on hand. 

I hope you enjoy the read, and don’t forget to post your comments and questions below as you read. I can’t wait to hear what you think!

PS - Toward the end of this month, I’m going to host a live chat here on The Kind Life all about vegan pregnancy, so read up now, and stay tuned for details on that soon!

Last month’s kind book club selection was Shantaram. It’s a book I love, so I was so happy to see how much you all enjoyed it too! Here are some of the comments you left about the book:

I love it!! This book opened doors to another world for me.  I especially liked the diversity of characters he met. They gave me a glimpse of another life. - Jill

One year ago I spent three weeks in India staying in Mumbai/Bombay before heading north to Panchgani.  The very beginning of the book, with the author’s vivid descriptions, takes me there again. His descriptions of the smells of Bombay have returned me to a place full of hope and spiritual living… - Yogini

I am not quite finished this book yet, but I wanted to get in on the discussion before it closed. At first this book was a bit difficult to get into for me, not sure why because now I can't get enough. I am practally falling asleep before I can put it down, I want to find out more but my eyes won't let me. So far an awesome read, and I can't wait to finish and find out what happens. Since I love this book so much I am going to go out and get all the book club books and read them all. Thank you Alicia for sharing your books with us kind lifers. - Amanda

Thanks to everyone who shared their comments about Shantaram! What books would you like to read next? Share your ideas in the comments below. 

Related Stories:

Kind Life Book Club: This Month's Selection Is...
Kind Lifers Debate The Continuum Concept...
Kind Lifers Sound Off On Meat Is For Pussies!

Shantaram! This pick is our first piece of fiction. I hope you all eat it up as much as I did! I can’t wait to hear what you have to say about it!

You can find used copies here, or you can always check your local library. Be sure to post any thoughts or questions you have along the way in the comments below. 



As always, I’ll be posting a compilation of your thoughts and feelings about Shantaram. Enjoy the read as you travel to your holiday destinations or enjoy a cozy staycation this season.

Related Stories:

Kind Book Club: This Month's Selection Is...
Kind Lifers Debate The Continuum Concept...
What Did You Think of Meat Is For Pussies?

Our book club selection for June was Girls Gone Green by Lynn Hirshfield. Many of you said you were planning to share this book with the young girls in your life, and a few of you also shared ways in which you’ve gone green! Check it out:
 
From Karen:
 
“I have been trying to be green for a long time...I bought a sewing machine on sale so I could make my own cloth, reusable bags...the cloth bags I have already made are so nice to use...so much better than plastic bags and more durable...I am always trying to find ways to be more green...waste not want not...that is my motto.”
 
From Kat:
 
“I had Styrofoam banned from my school district when I was in the 6th grade. My daughter started a recycling program at her school that raises more and more money each year to help the school be more green. I even received a phone call today to help a local preschool start a green program there. I think it's great she [Lynn Hirshfield] did this book to get young girls, boys, etc. involved with becoming more green.”
 
From Krystal:
 
“I read the book at my local library. It's definitely a book for young girls and it is inspiring to see them take charge and fight for what they believe in. Sometimes I wonder with the Internet, phones, video games and other distractions, if young people actually care what is going on around them. This book gives me hope that they do.”
 
I’m so glad you all enjoyed Girls Gone Green, and if you haven't yet, I highly encourage you to give it to the kids in your life! I wish we could get this book into the hands of all young people, especially to inspire those who might not know about a green lifestyle. If your kids read this book, please have them post a comment!

Stay tuned for our July selection – I’ll be posting it next week!
 
How have you “gone green”?

Girls Gone Green! This is such an inspirational book for young people and adults alike. I’m loving it, and I can’t wait to hear what you think! Here’s an excerpt:

Girls Gone Green
By Lynn Hirshfield

Over the last four years, I have had the honor and pleasure of meeting so many young people working on a vast spectrum of environmental initiatives, and a majority of these young green activists are girls. Perhaps it is natural for girls, who may one day be mothers, as well as working professionals, to feel especially nurturing. Some of the young women profiled in this handbook have earned national recognition for their achievements, while others are making strides on more local levels. Some are packing up for college, while others are still packing their lunches for elementary school. Each and every one of the girls profiled in this book is an eco hero who offers hope and direction for her generation.
 
I hope you find this book inspiring! You can find new or used copies here, or you can always check your local library. As you read, add your thoughts and questions to the comments below. I’ll compile them and post some of your feedback in a month.
 
Happy reading!

Over the last month, you Kind Lifers engaged in a thoughtful discussion about our Kind Book Club selection for April, The Continuum Concept, by the late Jean Liedloff.
 
While you all agreed that the idea of attachment parenting is healthy, some of you thought it is hard to implement in modern society. Take a look at the comments below, and let me know what you think!
 
From Kind Lifer Michelle
 
I have been reading this book and it's amazing! Although I know I'm not ready to have a child, it feels so good to become conscious about the way I know I want to raise/care for  him/her. This book has given me such vivid dreams and although I can wait a bit, I'm excited to become a mother one day and experience the connection between my child and me in the transition from the womb to in arms!
 
From Kind Lifer Ann
 
Just want to let all the non-parents know it is worth reading! I read it years ago - and again since - and have no children, have no interest in having children.....hell, I don't even really like children.....ha! My point being that this book is definitely not just for people thinking about having kids; it’s a really interesting anthropological study and I have often thought about a lot of her findings/observations in the years since reading it.
 
From Kind Lifer Brit B
 
I am a vegan mother of 3, and my youngest is 5 months now. I just thought I'd throw in my 2 cents. The philosophy espoused by this book sounds great in theory but unfortunately our culture does not support this type of parenting, which can lead to exhaustion and mental health problems in new moms. Carrying your baby 24 hours a day, sleeping with your baby at night, and nursing on demand sound fantastic, until you are so sleep deprived that you start to hallucinate. Unless you have a live-in nanny, a caring relative that lives close by, or a partner that is home often and can support you, and you can hand the baby off to a helper regularly, (similar to those in village type cultures that can really thrive with this type of parenting), the realities of our culture make this style of parenting very difficult to achieve. I've nursed my 3 til they self-weaned, had blissfully unmedicated births, did kangaroo care for the first month after birth, and live a pretty kind life, but my family and I were much healthier and happier when baby slept in her own bed, was put down to play by herself at times, stuck to a sleep/eat routine, and let mama get at least 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night.
 
From Kind Lifer Angelique
 
Before I had my son I never knew anything about the term "attachment parenting". It also wasn't until just before his birth that I had a change of heart and decided to have him naturally. Something in me just clicked.. and after some reading, documentary-watching (Ricki Lake!), and soul searching I began to change. I had a natural birth and that just started my path into natural parenting. We co-slept since day one (I had some really progressive nurses in a hospital that showed me how and encouraged it). I wore him non-stop in this beautiful organic sling... I nursed him until he self-weened at age 2. He has since moved into his own room but he is in a full size bed so I can help him drift off to sleep and sneak into bed with him if he wakes up scared to be alone. Yes, of course this arrangement is not easy on the parent.. nor the marriage. It has taken its toll.. but thankfully.. my husband has been understanding throughout this process and we are pretty much on the same page. I read this book a few months ago and cried because it was validation that my gut feeling as a mother was right. I went against my friends and pediatrician (and mother's!) advice and never let my son cry it out.. and I am so happy to know that I am not alone in that.. i am giving my son the best start to his life.. and although it's not easy in this modern society.. it is right... and it follows my basic instincts.
 
From Kind Lifer Tara
 
I'm a neonatal ICU nurse and I see the broken bonding with parents, parents afraid to touch, hold, care for their child because they are in an isolette or are attached to respiratory equipment. In our hospital we do have a developmental care committee to promote bonding, kangaroo care, breastfeeding and try to promote a more natural environment for the family but I wish we could do more!
 
From Kind Lifer Mistie
 
Wow! I'm so glad you are reading and recommending this book!  It has helped guide me through parenting from day one with my little ones and thankfully has helped us create a secure attachment based on love and intuition.. not on doctors or salesperson instructions, lol!  Not even mother-in-laws ;) When my boys are proud of something they did, I just give them a sincere "Awesome." and a hug.  No need to dramatize or overreact, just acknowledge that they are cool beings who have a lot of great talents. :)  Being genuine doesn't mean never praising or giving compliments... it means just being sincere. Kids can tell if you mean what you say or are just propping them up. They appreciate honesty in all forms, even gentle criticism when needed.
 
Thank you all so much for sharing your parenting experiences and your candid reactions to The Continuum Concept. I’ll be announcing our next Kind Book Club selection soon, so stay tuned!