Hi I wanted to start some reading about sleep habits before my daughter is born and there are SOOO many books out there! Any recomendations - think Babywise may be too harsh for me from what I hear but I do want structure.  Any suggestions appreciated - thanks!

"Sleeping Through the Night" by Jodi Mindell is great. I also like the chapter about routine vs. schedule in The Baby Whisperer...but that is the only chapter I felt was helpful.

Baby Whisperer and Baby Wise were books I liked, but I didn't stick to a whole lot in them and honestly my young one didn't sleep through the night for a long long long time, because I was all about child lead nursing.

BUT, I really liked learning about what my baby could be feeling/thinking that would cause him to act certain ways, and reading both of those books helped me to understand how I could change my ways to make things easier for him. (not the other way around)

Example, one of those books (don't remember which right now) talked about a bunch of people sitting around a room with their knees crossed, and all of a sudden she walked around the room and just started flipping adults on their backs.  And she was like "how does that make YOU feel"  so how do you think the baby feels, just being flipped all over the place for a diaper change without any advance warning.  This made so much sense when my young one started dispising diaper changes.  I began to talk to him first in a calming tone saying the same thing every time.  Getting him ready for the change, made it not a surprise, and made it easier on both of us.

Another one I really loved (not for new born but a few months later when I learned of these books)  was something about, "how would you like it if you woke up in your bed down the street in your neighbors yard"

And then think about how the baby feels when they fall asleep cuddeled in moms arms, and wake up in a bed/bassanet etc.  some where else.   And that could be why baby wakes up crying instead of waking up happy.

Anyway, things like that I gathered from those books and they were very useful.

Many many of those little tidbits, made our lives much easier.   I never did the CYO method, or forcing or witholding feedings to stay on a schedule or anything like that.

For some people strict schedules work, but that was not the case for us.  What I did gain from those books though is that routine is important.  So for example, he may not have his nap every day at 3pm.  But when we do have naptime, we will walk through the same routine steps each day.  I may see that he needs nap at 1pm instead of 3, but at 1pm we will do the same steps and say the same things, sing the same songs, read book etc.  to prepare for that nap time.  So no matter what time of day, he knew quickly what was about to happen.

We still do this today at age 8.   We have a bed time routine and morning routine, regardless of what time of day each of those occur.  

Needless to say I really liked those books, but not because of the techniques they provide, more because of the thoughts that helped me to be better for him.  You'll find a lot of books are that way.  And you don't have to follow to a T, just take out the bits that you need to hear.

Also if this is your first, you can't possibly know about her little self until she is here.  So don't hold to any method you read about early, she'll tell you what she needs when she gets here :-)

The best advice I received was "Trust your instincts"  Everyone will have their two cents, but that baby will tell you exactly what she wants and when she wants it and how she needs it!

Congrats on your bundle, and best wishes.