Hi,

my name is Kerry and I'm from New Brunswick, Canada. I gave up beef and pork a long time ago and expect that I will be giving up chicken and turkey very soon.

I have a 5 year old daughter and 9 month old son. When I introduced food to my daughter I fed her what I ate. Once she went to daycare she was given all meat products and continues to eat them. She is aware of what she is eating and not bothered by it at all.

My son, on the other hand, I 'feel' does not want to eat meat. For one, he is very allergic to milk. Because I am breastfeeding I have given up milk products. It really bothers me to think of introducing meat to him. It feels wrong to offer him a dead animal as nourishment... almost unfair to him. I am so confused. My family already thinks that I am 'weird' and a bit crazy for making the choices that i have made (they are even against breastfeeding). Do I trust my intuition or do I introduce meat to him and let him decide if he would like to cut it out in the futre.

I appreciate any insight anyone has to offer :)

-

Kerry - you should, without a doubt, follow your intuition. There are two wonderful books out there for vegan/vegetarian mothers - "Skinny Bitch: Bun In the Oven" and "An Idiot's Guide to Vegan Living". Both offer great tips and nutritional info for moms who don't want to serve animal products to their kids. I think the most powerful thing a child can hold onto is his or her compassion - and by starting it from the very beginning, you can help them have a strong foundation in making positive, healthy choices. I never understand the common argument of feeding our children meat so that they can "choose for themselves" one day - especially when today, the animal flesh in America comes from animals who have been brutally abused and pumped with chemicals. I wish I had grown up vegan, so there's a huge chance your son (and hopefully daughter) will thank you for guiding them in a loving and honest way. Trust your motherly intuition and feed your son what you know is best. And rock on for giving up meat!! :)

xoxo

Lindsay, founder, Kiss Me, I'm Vegan

Agreed, do what you feel is right.  I would be livid if a care provider fed my young one meat...

Hi Kerry,

I totally understand the social pressure (esp. from your family)! I think the community like this helps, too, but I recommend that you look for veg-parent community or the one that is at least veg-friendly in your area. It makes such a big difference to have people who can share the same issues. I could not find one, so I started one, with fear of me being the only member!

It has been three years and we have wonderful core group...I really could not have better motherhood without them! 

Also it was helpful to have older moms who already raised their kids in the same way I chose... their insight was very very helpful 

Just an idea... there are bunch of moms raising kids vegan out there! 

-c

I'm having a similar issue..... I have been vegetarian for 19 years, and have recently gone vegan (again... haha), and I'm trying to decide whether or not to feed my son (9 months old) a vegan or vegetarian diet. Obviously I want to do vegan, but i'm just worried about him getting the right nutrients.... I know it's silly....because I know it's possible, but I'm just not super organized, so it scares me a bit. I guess calcium, iron and vitamin b12 are my main concerns.... I suppose it's because I don't even know exactly what and how much to feed myself on a daily basis to get the required amounts. But I agree finding an online vegan community geared towards moms etc would be a good thing to do. Hudson (my son) is going to be a serious minority when he goes to school.... I don't even want to think about it.... birthday parties.... hot dog day... etc :( And I live in a very redneck sorta area (Alberta, Canada.... cattle country)... eeeeeek!

I completely understand where your coming from!  My husband eats meat and always has, I on the other hand have been vegetarian for 30 years now. My son is 6 years old and veggie like his mum.  I told my husband that this is how I wanted to raise him and that when he was older if he changed his mind and decided to eat meat that was fine, but I wanted to give him a healthy start.  After breast feeding, my son drank soya milk ( fortified with calcium, B12 etc) still had rice cereal and jarred organic baby food (veg)  and  at about 16 months had peanut butter, (no nut allergies in my family) and of course steamed veggies (cut very small..lol) little bits of veggie burgers etc again all in tiny pieces.   Now at six, he loves raw veggies, chick peas , all nuts and seeds and the various veggie burgers, hot dogs, tofu etc and I find he lectures other kids about eating healthy ....lol     My parents in law were concerned that he wouldn't be healthy and they have since changed their opinion as my son is a tall, strong, solid and lean boy with endless amounts of energy ( exhausting...lol) and has a great compassion for all living things.  I would definately go with your intuition and do what you feel is best for your child. Its so nice to have this website where everyone is so supportive of one another!!  

You're a breastfeeder so I wouldn't worry about it too much. I didn't and my son is healthy.

YOUR instincts are right for YOUR child. It's your job as a parent to keep him healthy, nourished, etc. - not theirs. 

I'd suggest speaking with a vegan-friendly nutritionalist or pediatrician who understands to really develop a full diet for him with your considerations for him and his milk issue in mind. Getting all the nutrients he needs is possible from a vegan diet but it never hurts to have someone witha degree in the matter help you out ;). 

Something to just keep in mind is that things might be a little harder for him once he gets to daycare age. You mention your daughter has gone towards more of a carnivore feeling but it might actually be a much larger issue for him. I know that I had a milk allergy too as a baby and by the time I went to pre-school, everyone thought it should have gone away and tried to get me to drink it in school. I ended up getting so sick my parents almost sued! 

So how's it going, OP?

My ten month old eats turkey, chicken and lamb, but will not touch beef. She totally loves tofu and beans as well. I have decided to let her make her own choices about whether she follows me in my vegetarian lifestyle or whether she follows her dad in eating meat. They do eat only organic meat and it has taken a long time for her to try it at all, normally she just turns her nose up at it.

I spoke to a friend who is a director of a preschool about bringing her up vegetarian and she said that the kids at the preschool who are veg or vegan always try the meat products because they are something new, this is why nugget will make her own choices. I do not want to bring her up thinking that there are "bad" and "good" foods because I think that will only confuse her in terms of what is appropriate to eat. Although, I will not be taking her to Macca's, hopefully that can remain an unknown factor in her life.

I posted above when my son was 9months, and  now my son is a year old, and we have been doing a vegan diet (other than his formula... I give him half soy and half regular).  I just didn't want to give him 100% soy. My dilemma still is the issue of weaning him to whole milk. That is the "traditional" way.... but obviously I don't drink milk because I don't believe it is natural, so why give it to my son? I know of people (vegan)who, once their child stopped breat feeding at 1, just gave them water and a wide variety of fruits, veggies, plant basted proteins, whole grains etc, and their kids are fine. I hate how docs/dieticians tell you that your kid need the fat from cow milk.... and that other "milks" aren't a proper substitute. I understand a child need healthy fats for healthy development, but it's just so frustrating when you are surrounded with people who are stuck in a box of what is traditional etc... Other than this whole "milk" issue, everything else has been going good:) Hudson eats a wide variety of fruits, veggies, beans, tofu, soy "meats", whole grains (pasta, rice, barley, quinoa).... I just got him on peanut butter, so that is nice cause that s a good source of protein and fat for him. I'm definitely raising him to be compassionate and I will not feed him meat. I can only hope that he will be co-operative once he is old enough to choose, but I am a SAHM, so daycare won't be an issue, and I hope that by the time he goes too school, I will have taught him well enough that he won't have any desire to eat meat. We don't have any meat/dairy/eggs in our house, so I'm hoping that the way I raise him, will be "normal" to him. I'm thinking I'm going to have to have a few more though, so that they will be a little clan of vegans, and they will have strength in numbers! haha :)

jamie you are wonderful.

and i know i dont have a baby...but oh you must follow your instincts....you know how bad dairy is for you so how could it be good for your little one....do your little one a favor and dont start the addiction...in years your kis will thank you...when so healthy and so strong...ad not remembering all the dairy....give him the best start....trust you. i hope you find all of the support and help you need....

love alicia

Aw:) Thanks Alicia:) That's exactly it. I don't want to start the addiction. I know how hard it was for me to kick cheese. It's ridiculous! I still have cravings that are super strong! But I think about where it came from and that usually helps a lot. I know that my parents never meant any harm feeding me sweets, and cheese etc, but I can see the long terms effects it has had on me, and I don't want that for Hudson at all!  My instincts definitely tell me not to give him dairy, but I even  asked my dietician friend what he needs in milk that is so important.... like the exact breakdown of the nutrients, minerals, vitamins.. etc. I said, forget it's milk... look at it from a scientific point of view and tell me, so that I can find those nutirents elsewhere. She tells me "Dairy is one of the 4 food groups. They wouldn't reccommend it if it wasn't healthy".So frustrating!  I even asked her about the cholesterol is milk and asked "isn't that bad for him?". She said "No, the body can process it.... unless a person has a genetic problem, it's fine". So I said "Well, don't people who have diet related high cholesterol, get it from the cholesterol in food?" She said "No, it's from the fat they eat.... saturated and trans fat". I said "Well..... yes..... fat that has choIesterol in it!?" Right!?". She didn't really give me a straight answer.  I definitely need to find a vegan dietician!I swear I spend way too much time online trying to research stuff, but oh well! It's worth it if I can find answers. Hopefully I can help others with the answers I find so that they don't have to go through this battle!:) I did start going to school to be a dietician, but I kind of got bored of it because it was just classes like biology, chemistry, economics etc ..... to begin with. Maybe it's a good thing I didn't go at that time in my life (I was vegetarian at that time). because I might have been brainwashed about the whole dairy thing!

I have 3 little boys, ages 7, 3, and 15 months.  My family has been vegan for 3 years now, and we have never been healthier. 

As far as letting them make their own decisions about what they eat... I kind of look at it like this:  They would love to sit and eat a whole bag of sour patch kids.... but I wouldn't allow that, because I care about their health.  I feel the same way about meat/dairy/etc.  I know that it isn't good for their bodies, and it's my job (for now, at least) to do what is in their best interest.  They will all make their own choices at some point, and that's totally fine.  My 7 year old is extremely compassionate, and always makes sure to ask me if there is "meat" in things if we're eating away from home.  I hope he keeps that outlook on food as he gets older... even though I'm certain he'll rebel and have some McNuggets at some point.  :o)  My 2 youngest have been vegan since birth, so they don't know what they're "missing".  I'm hoping that if they ever decide to try something yucky when they're older, they'll see how horrible it makes them feel, and realize that it isnt' worth it.