I am having a hard time trying to tell my family. Even my husbands family comes from a line of big cookers and big meat eaters. I always feel bad when I have to tell them I no longer want to eat what they cooked for me. Or I am having trouble telling them what I am eatting now. It's like I know how they are going to act when I tell them. They aren't going to be very supportive. Or they are going to think this is just anything diet I am going to try and never stick with. I really wish I had my people behind my back. But if anyone has any ideas on how I can open the bag with my new life style, please let me know. It will help out a lot.

I did tell my husband but I don't think he understands. He doesn't want me to give up meat for some reason. Almost like I am going to die becuase my body isn't getting a nice bloody cow for dinner. I know he wants to support me but I don't think he knows how.

Hi there,

I made the decision to go vegan 4 months ago and struggled with how to share this with my family, friends, but most of all my husband. I asked him if he'd be willing to read a few of the chapters from the Kind Diet (I highlighted the Dairy, Meat, and Sugar chapters) so he knew where I was coming from. He was willing to do so and after reading stated,  "I'm in... let's give it a try for a month and go from there."  I know this approach might not work for all, but it was helpful that my husband knew the reasons behind my choice (and heard it from experts rather than myself). As for my family, I simply said, "I've gotten to the point that I've read so much about the topic that I had to change my lifestyle in some ways." I pride myself on being a healthy person- so I approached veganism the same way.

I hope this helps! In the meantime- there are always some great vegan dishes that can satisfy everyone and maybe even get the conversation started in a positive way.

I was thinking of cooking them something to see what they thought. I am going to see if my husband wants to read the book. I know some parts made me cry a little. But this does help out a lot thanks.

thought-thanks OOPS

A book caught my interest at Border's the other day that you may also find helpful: Vegan Freak by Bob and Jenna Torres.  Amazon states, "In this informative and practical guide, two seasoned vegans offer tips and advice for thriving without animal by-products. Sometimes funny and irreverent yet always aware of its serious message, this resource for being vegan in a world that doesn’t always understand or have sympathy for the lifestyle illustrates how to go vegan in three weeks or less by employing a “cold tofu method;” convince family, friends, and others that there is no such thing as a vegan cult; and survive restaurants, grocery stores, and meals with omnivores. Also offering answers to questions such as “Do you, like, live on apples and twigs?” this reference dispels myths and explains the arguments for ethical, abolitionist veganism, encouraging everyone to embrace their inner vegan."

My mom told me she won't read the "caca" and my husband won't even try a bite of the food I make for myself.  I understand and empathize with you completely!

Rachel

Omg... I am going to get this book. Everyone that knows so far thinks I am going to turn into a freak from another world. Thank you! I am so happy that people are understanding where I am coming from.

Jessica,  I especially loved your comment, "I've gotten to the point that I've read so much about the topic that I had to change my lifestyle in some ways."  I might start using that line myself when questioned by people.  It shows that you/ I / we HAVE read a lot on the topic, so we KNOW what we're doing and what we're talking about.  Yet it doesn't give too much info to make someone defensive or offended.  Plus, maybe such a vague response would incite people to ask, "So what have you been reading?"  It might just open a dialogue on the subject.  Thanks for sharing! 

I agree with Sarah.  There isn't a DAY that goes by since I've gone vegan that people don't have something to say. No matter what, everyone is going to have an opinion because they are so unfamiliar with the path you're taking. I've learned since I was a vegetarian that this has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with me and the causes I believe in.  My parents still give me the hardest time of all. But, I tell them that this is how I feel, this is what I want to do, and I'm not asking them to do it.

I find THIS site to be my support system.  The people who understand and the people who aren't judging me.

I just went to my cousin's birthday party yesterday.  I ate a sandwich in the car on the way, thankfully.... b/c the only thing there I'd eat were carrot and celery sticks.  Mmmmm.  (sarcasm) ;-)  Not that I expect anyone to cater to me, but it's just the reality of being vegan in a non-vegan family.  And I didn't mind not eating at the party at all.  The only thing that was a little rough was my cousin (the host) seemed to feel bad that I didn't eat or drink anything while I was there.  Like she was being a bad host.  I never meant to make her feel bad, and quickly assured her that I was fine, but I could tell she still felt bad.  It was also kind of funny, I don't know if people were doing this on purpose or not, b/c I was sitting right there, but several people would say (rather loudly and vehemently), "Ohh, this chicken is SOOO good!!!"  Comments like that.  It kinda felt over the top, which made me think they were jabbing at me a little, but maybe not.  And I don't really care anyway, it's just kind of humorous.  Ahhh.... fun times at family events..... ;-) 

Ugh i hate that.. I dont get why people think its funny to 'taunt' their nasty foods in front of you. it makes me so frustrated and i just wanna yell at them for being so rude! the other day my boyfriend's mother was like so when is this phase going to wear out. i honestly didn't know how to answer that but it felt like a stab in the heart, like no one wants to be supportive or like i'm a nusance because whenever we eat together i won't eat the meat or the potatoes because they have milk in them... my own dad slurps up his cup of milk and says, mmmmmm fatty cow millk, how delicious.. (But on the other hand my mom is completely behind me and respects everything i stand for, thank you mom!!!) lol

Lindsey -   I'm SOO with you!!!  It's always good to hear/meet other vegans going through similar trials.  We're not alone!!  My latest family event was breakfast for my mom's birthday.  Prior to it, my mom asked what I'd eat, so they'd make sure to have something for me.  I said, Honestly, I'll just eat before I come b/c I like my oatmeal, so you guys can have whatever you want.  Nice of her to think of me and ask.  So at the actual breakfast, I didn't eat anything, just sat and socialized.  My dad then asked, "So what do you eat for breakfast?"  Since I wasn't eating the eggs, bacon, sausage, and biscuits they were having.  I said either oatmeal or flax waffles.  Then we got into discussing what flax was, since none of them knew.  And then came the comment from my sister (I can usually count on her for comments such as these... she's kind of close-minded sometimes).  She said, "So basically, you don't eat real food."  I wanted to scream - "REAL FOOD?!  You call THIS, that you're eating right now, REAL FOOD?!"  Lol, of course I didn't, and instead said, how actually my flax waffles ARE more real than other waffles b/c they don't have preservatives in them or other filler crap.  She didn't say anything back, and seemed to think about what I said (hopefully).  Still, I agree with you, Lindsey - the comments all the time definitely get old!!!  I just don't understand how other people don't get it!  Or how they don't even WANT to get it, or learn! 

hahah im glad someone's on the same boat!! today we were talking about aspartame at work. (its one of the things i try to avoid no matter what!) The girl i work with was showing me one of those instant sweet tea packets and she was like "Look! it has no calories and no sugar!" and so i lookedat the ingredients and sure enough, aspartame! well, being the caring person i am, i explained in the nicest way possible that it is crap for you and the effects it has on your body are horrendous.. and she's like "well whatever everything i eat would be crap to you anyways.". it was like a total shut down, i almost felt bad for trying to help. lol but then i realized she is really rude & mean to everyone else so okay, whatever lol. BUT this other girl i'm friend with at work it really curious about how i eat, and shes like so you can't have this, or that. and i love explaining to her everything i know. haha.

I hate how everyone seems so close minded. i just feel like yelling "before you completely shut down the idea, do a little research first" look up videos on how the animals are treated that you eat.. or look up  the devistating effects of it on your body, along with dairy products. sometimes i get so upset i cry because i love my family and i hate the idea that they're slowly killing themselves with what they eat. but i havea new story to add. we were eating dinner one night with my whole family, and my little sister didnt want to to eat any meat. so my brother yells at her, "you need animal protien or you'll die!" and i was so outraged, i went off. lol not really yelling , but as much as he didn't want to hear it, i kept on going on and on about the protien actually causes more problems than it does good. and everything that came to mind i just shoved it in his face because that was literally the last straw with him, and he just sat there munching on his ew food. lol hopefullly he thought about what i said, but its not very likely :( lol but i hope your sister thought about what you said! i am always telling my little sister about things just little tid bits of info pertaining to the situation, and i think i'm starting to rub off a little :) we were at the fair and she was petting the little piggys whensome old guy came up and was like MMM BACONN. and i was like "excuse me, there are little ears." and later my sister asked me, will all those piggys be turned into bacon? and i had to explain what happens to 95% of the animals at the fair, and she really thought about it. so i hope she changes, a little if anything :)