My best friend and I were talking about how if we have kids, we would raise them without animal products.  Of course, our significant others are not vegan and do still eat meat.  We were pondering how difficult some situations would be with the child(ren) in raising them, and would like to know how you handle certain situations with your children....

How would you handle your child spending a night over a friend's house or even spending the night at the grandparents house (who aren't supportive of vegan diets)?  If your child is invited to a kid's birthday party where there's pizza and cake (obviously not vegan), do you not let your child go?  Would you not let them play certain sports because the ball they use may be made out of leather?

We're just doing girl talk and realized that there may be some diffculty raising our future children in a non-cruetly household that we didn't even consider.  We posed the question that what if our child came back from spending the day with grandma, and she took him (or her) out for chicken nuggets.  What exactly can you do then?  You can't shelter the child, but you want certain principles to be upheld.... Sorry so long, but these are actual concerns for us.  Any insight would be appreciated.

Sorry so long, but

Dolores,

Ive only been vegan since Feb 2010 and my 7 year old daughter is... I would say 90% vegan.  My son is 10.. still wants his meat and my husband will eat either.   In july we went to a birthday party and when the hot dogs and hamburgers came out she said "mama what am I going to eat?" So she just ate the fruit and she was proud of herself.  I think if they are raised from the start a vegan they would not want the other food and would stick to the principles you taught them.   Maybe the cake and sweets when the other kids have it, but I have made Alicia's vegan cupcakes and offered to bring them to different kid parties and they loved them.  The same for the school parties and really no one knows the difference.  And by the way we  have friends that are vegetarian and their kids were raised from the beginning veg, they never want meat.  They even tell other kids how good their moms meatless meatballs are.  If I were just having kids now I would do things different.  I would raise them vegan from the beginning and also do their vaccination schedule different.  I mean spread it out over time with not so many shots.  And as far as the sports go, I never really thought of that one.  Its something to think about!

I too just went vegan last year.  Until then, I ate meat daily.  My husband and kids are still omni.  That said, my hubby and kids eat several vegan meals a week, which is a huge improvement.  Hopefully someday my example will having them going totally veg.  If I were enlightened earlier, I would have had my kids eating vegan from the start, and then I believe their choices would have come naturally.  You'll never be able to totally shelter them, but hopefully if they are raised to eat vegan, then they will question Grandma when she offers them chicken nuggets.  And, you can always send your kid to a bbq party with a veggie dog and a vegan cupcake if you want.

As for sports, by all means I would look for vegan sporting goods.  But I would never discourage my child from playing with others because of what ball they are using.  I wouldn't want their healthy choices to ever impede their fun and learning and socialization.  Just my two cents.

i'm a mother of 2 boys, one is 10 and the other is 7 weeks. i went vegan 1 1/2 years ago. had a fantastic pregnancy and fully intend on raising my baby vegan. my 10 year old is lactose intolerant so he avoids most dairy anyway. he's not a huge fan of meat so i'm hoping one day he'll convert. my husband isn't vegan, but he has done it for a week to try it out. as far as the baby, my parents and inlaws know my plans. he won't be going to visit alone if they can't respect my wishes. my parents would never go behind my back though, it's my dear greek inlaws i'm concerned about:) as far as partys, i've taken cupcakes for my son when everyone else is having ice cream cake, not a biggie. as far as a baseball goes....that's a little too far for me.you can't place them in a total bubble, secluding them from everything and everyone....my opinion anyway.

I have twin two-year old boys.  I went vegan a year ago.  I don't cook or buy animal products, so my family does not eat them at home, however my husband eats meat when and if given the opportunity and my kids do also.  Everyone is so concerned with the fact that my meals do not include meat or dairy, but I have learned to ignore them.  Becoming vegan was a personal choice for me, and I believe it should be a personal choice for everyone.  My kids are too young to make that choice for themselves, but don't eat a whole lot of meat or dairy, and so they don't prefer it and rarely choose it, honestly.  They eat what I make and when they go to someone else's house, I try to make the best choices for them, but if they really want a hamburger, I will let my husband feed it to them (cause it grosses me out.) :)

I am in that exact situation right now. I have a son (14 months) and another one on they way, so right now it isn't that big of an issue because I'm a stay at home mom, and I go everywhere that Hudson goes, so I can be in control. We have been to a few brthday parties, and have just eaten the fruit and veggies etc.... When he is older though, things will definitely change in the sense that I can't always be there to protect him. I am hoping that he will have learned enough from me to know what choices to make, and also, I think that the world is becoming more aware of the vegetarian/ vegan lifestyle, so I'm hoping that it will be a little more common in a few years when Hudson goes to school. A girl can hope can't she?! haha. I think that Linda and  Kim both have good ideas about sending the appropriate food with your child to the party, and I think that talking to the parents before hand will make it easier too. You can always just say it's an allergy and then they will definitely keep their eye on what your child eats! haha. As for relatives that don't support they lifestyle.... honestly, I think it would be so disrespectful to purposely offer something they know you don't eat... and I would be furious!  If anyone gave my child meat, knowing that I was dead set against it, they better run and hide...There would be consequenses! I'm guess that the child would probably feel sick after eating meat/dairy, so that might teach them a lesson too. I know that about a year after I went vegetarian, I ate a burger, and threw it all up. And later on, when transitioning from vegetarian to vegan, I ate some cheese after a couple months of not having any, and I had the worst cramps etc of my life! It was like labour all over again!

I am a mother of three. A 15 year old a 13 year old and a 10 year old.  I have been vegan since june of 2010 and veggie since Jan2010.  So still very new to everything.  We had a fairly healthy diet before the transition and my husband is very supportive.  He has actually become veggie in the last 3 months, because one of our main things we loved to do toghther before me going vegan was cookimg and eating together.  Here is the rub, my children eat what I make, sort of.  I prepare a full vegan dinner 5 nights a week and always have a veggie(cheese ) entree as well.  Its been very hard on me since I truly HATE contributing to the madness.  Yet this is the compromise we as a family have come to.  When we are at home we eat vegan with the exception of that cheese entree and every friday they go to grandmas who makes really nasty food that they love.  Its hard to compromise but I want my children to make the kind choice for themselves.  The good news  is that my mother in law is starting to make more vegetarian meals!  Just last week she made two spaghetti sauces one with meat one without for me.  Guess which sauce ran out!  I think its great that you are planning to raise your kids vegan.  If only i had known what i do now. 

In high school I was a vegetarian and my friends knew it.  I was suprised when I went to a barbeque one day - they bought me veggie burgers (this was from a guy w/ a bumper stick that read "I eat vegetarians").  For the most party, I think as long as people know about your dietary choices, they'll be accomodating, but definitely offer to pack or buy something.

I was Veg when getting pregnant and heard all the talk about how I wouldn't be healthy that way, and I was..Then having a Baby that exclusively BF'd, my Vegified milk, I heard all the talk about how he couldn't be healthy that way.. and he was.. then when he started eating solids.. you get the idea....

My Hubs did eat meat at the time, but he did agree with me that we would keep our kiddo Vegan his first 2yrs of life.  People that didn't support our wishes, did not spend any alone time with him.  I was very intolerant of family members going against my wishes.   My son loved broccoli, and I even had my MIL try to feed him cheese telling him it was Orange Broccoli, I was Soooo mad!!

After 2yrs though, I knew he would develop tastes of his own and want to be like Daddy, and I agreed not to stand in the way... But, to my surprise, he made it till 3yrs old before ever asking to try his Dad's Chicken.. From there he tried Cheese, and that is when he get very very very ill....

Stomach issues, migraines, ear infections... Lets just say, the dairy in his diet did not last long.  Then at 6yrs old, he wanted to try  Eggs.  Hubby is Veg now, but not Vegan.   & they both do eat eggs.  Once in a while, my son will ask to eat chicken.. but he has never had any other meat his entire life, and I'm confident the chicken/eggs will only be far and few as he grows..

I make sure to create meals that are similar to what his friends eat.. there are veg alternates for almost everything so he never feels deprived.  I always bring foods to school, camp, functions etc.

And for parties, I always make him Vegan cupcakes to take with him. So he never goes hungry.

In the rare case, i don't get something packed, we will eat before/after, or I'll promise his favorite treat after.

We talk about the kindness factor and also his health, all of this has worked for us...

I always send along "veggie food" for them {ie, gardein nuggets, veggie friendly sweets, etca]

-However, I always let my children decide for themselves. They are aware of the issues, know what their options are and typically choose veggie. I do not make big deals out of a pizza slice or an ice cream cone with grandma.

As far as sporting goods... hmm... well our girls take karate, so we haven't had that issue yet. And they are other wise farely vocal about their veggie lifestyle so... they do well in pretty much most circumstances :)

My husband is not vegetarian (I am still working on him) I let my kids make their choices on their own.  I don't like forcing it on them, I do mainly cook vegan or vegetarian meals and offer them that.  If Daddy has some meat they might have some of that- they like to be like Daddy.  I am buying them books to explain how they hurt the animals and contribute to a horrible system and hope to help them make the right decision.

I do not have kids, and don't plan to for quite a while, but I thought you might find this podcast episode from the Food for Thought podcast by Colleen Patrick-Goudreau helpful.  It has a lot of really great information. :)

http://hw.libsyn.com/p/4/5/6/45626084aa0883ff/vegan_children.mp3?sid=3d6888feed12f2ff67ab3b0bcc21b8cb&l_sid=22037&l_eid=&l_mid=2034576

I have been vegan for 4 years. My son is 15 omni, daughter is 4, mostly vegetarian, and my husband is omni. I cook and offer vegan meals, some my family love, others they put cheese on. My hubby will cook meat to throw onto a vegan dish to satisfy his wants.

As far as sports go you don't have much control over what the school or the community buys, but when you purchase your kids gloves and balls you can get the humane option. Just because your child might use a ball clad in leather doesn't mean that they are less compassionate.

When my daughter attends a party she will refuse the meat options and eats vegetarian on her own. When she is with her grandparents they always make sure she has something she will eat. She really has no desire to spend time with family that doesn't cater to her, she just doesn't ever ask to go see those family members.