The Kind Life
User Avatar
my thoughts on fur...
Posted by Alicia Silverstone on Sep 15, 2011


anti-fur

Through the years, I’ve struggled to find the right reaction whenever I’ve come into contact with people who wear fur. I have so many strong feelings about this issue that I’ve often become tongue-tied and have not known what to say.

At times, I’ve said things that, even though they were truly what I felt, only angered or alienated people. Other times, I’ve said nothing and just accepted that it’s their choice. But holding it in and simmering in silence didn’t feel right to me either.

What I’ve finally learned is that being warm and kind is the best way to open a dialogue on this subject. Often, people wearing fur expect me to say something harsh that will put them on the defensive. But, if I’m willing to engage with them openly and respectfully (even if I can’t stand the choice they’ve made), it gives us an opportunity to have a friendly conversation, one where they’re far more open to hearing another point of view.

If I feel comfortable, I might ask them in a disarming tone, “Hey, is that real?” This gives them the chance to answer yes or no, but I think just asking the question plants the seed in their mind. If they say it is, I just go, “Ahhh,” or give a look that expresses my reaction - but without judgment or condemnation; I just try and express my truth.

Many times, people will say things like, “Oh gosh, I know… My mom gave it to me,” or, “I struggle with this issue myself!” Whatever their response, by staying compassionate and non-judgmental, I have a much better chance at planting a seed of change in their mind or opening up a dialogue than if I get into an argument with them. I think I’ve wound up having a far more positive effect by calling out my feelings on the issue while not cutting off the chance to have a respectful dialogue. A lot of times, people who wear fur might already have an openness to hearing another point of view, but if you go at them in a way that’s confrontational, they will shut down.

It doesn’t make me hate the fur trade any less, but if my goal is to win over people and eliminate fur clothing for good, then a kind and understanding approach can be the most effective. Living a compassionate life means sometimes even having compassion for people who are making choices that are harmful or ignorant. We don’t have to like or accept what they’re doing, but the most effective way to start changing it is by engaging them in constructive dialogue.

What do you do when you see someone wearing fur? What have you found to be the most effective way to get people to change?

  • Share
  • Categories: style , animals

I have never seen anyone who wore fur.

yes heidi! i totally agree with you.  i HATE being preached at about anything and i try really hard no to do the same to others.  there are many choices in my life that often find people at odds with me...and i just hate the fact that they think they are better than me or have the RIGHT to tell me i'm wrong, or stupid, or going to hell, or whatever fill in the blank stupid comment.  i just don't get it...and they are ALWAYS met with my disdain and eye rolling.  i won't listen and in fact it will make me not hear them even more...if that makes sense!  i like finding my own truths in my own time.

as far as fur...i don't like it at all.  i often go back and forth with leathers.  if the hides are simply the left overs of the meat industry, then i think we should take full advantage of everything.  however, if there were less demand for leather would it decrease the killing of animals?  i don't think so because the animals are killed for their meat...but i still don't like it. it makes me sad.  personally i like crocs. they make cute ones now.  so comfy. yes, they have leather ones now, but i don't buy them...just the regular ones.  and you can't go wrong with good ol' cotton.  :)

Not into fur, don't buy it, feel sorry for the animals. 

http://www.veganrawfood.net

i wear all kinds of anti fur buttons/totes!! that way i make a statement and make ppl think about the issue w/o having to confront every single person wearing fur! 

I was super bummed when I went to the Stella McCartney store where I live in Las Vegas today. My friend and I spotted a sweater in her store made out of wool and angora rabbit hair!! I may be wrong, but I was under the impression that her clothes were vegan. Can someone enlighten me?

 

i agree with leslie, being angry or outwardly judgemental does alienate.  HOWEVER, if we are to help stop the selfish, brutal killing of these helpless animals in the name of 'fashion' then we should be respectfully honest, as well as armed with some facts.  i loved how alicia portrayed her veganism on oprah! that type of lightheartedness and accessibility, coupled with REAL reasons, both for health and for love of animals and the environment, makes people listen.  it's been hard for me lately living in a fancy town where now i see everyone with these fur vests.  its hard enough to go out to eat with people who love their meat, now they are wearing fur like 85 year old women.  as for wool, i always assumed it was a practice that didn't harm the sheep.  so, we do need to know our facts and help people.....offer them alicia's book, or ask if they have seen food inc. etc.  it will catch on...

Personally I almost always assume that peoples in general are not going to let themselves go too much, at least as far as I'm concerned... There's always peoples with whom I don't get along well, but usually I assume that someone who appreciate me is going to do efforts to be reasonable... There are ways to put me in a receptive mode...

In response to Gia's comment, angora and wool are vegan friendly.  Sheep and rabbits aren't harmed in the shearing process. 

What do you think? Click here to join the discussion
  • Read earlier discussion
  • View all
  • 66 Responses